I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
