I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
