his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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