You're so nebulous sometimes
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
