It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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