I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
No subtext here. People are naked.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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