so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
