I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think your dad took our porno
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
