im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize