I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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