Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
this is an emotional support booty call
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
