Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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