Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
