Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So many bounce houses so little time
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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