So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
