Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
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he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
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I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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