Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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