She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She bit a glass in half.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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