she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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