I am in a vortex of obligation.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize