operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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