I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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