I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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