does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
