well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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