Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he was CRYING into my vagina
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
