he puts the penis in happiness.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
