you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
