So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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