The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
