weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
