Are we in a gay sports bar?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
