How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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