this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
