whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
