she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
