better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
