David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
