At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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