I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
