Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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