I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
