Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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