yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
