So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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