You're my little dorito
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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