i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
