you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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