just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
