Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
