So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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