I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
