I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
