I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize