Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
