East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
