Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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