Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im six kinds of drunk right now
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
