omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
