do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
