am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
