white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
