she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
