Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
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