idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
