is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
