I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
