the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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