Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
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I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
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Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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